Something has to change. I can’t go on living like this–this feeling of being in a slough and ever being slowly pulled further down in it. I know exactly what is causing it and I don’t know what to do.

The way people act and respond…the things people say…the double-sidedness…the hurt.

I feel things so deeply, and I wonder half the time if I feel things too deeply. I care so much about the people I love–I am fiercely loyal. When someone breaks the trust that I don’t easily give in the first place…it takes another little piece of who I am with it. I feel like I never regain those little pieces.

I feel like clamming up and erecting walls of concrete to try to keep the pain and hurt out. I feel like I could easily become a superficial “cold” person with only a facade of being warm and loving.

I want to love . . . I want to be loved for who I am.

5 thoughts on “

  1. I love you.

    I wish I knew you in person, so that I could love every little thing about you, know you inside and out. But even though I don’t, you are still so precious and unique and just… beautiful. I treasure you.

  2. *growlygrowlgrowl* Who is being two-faced and hurtful and goobery? I want to kick them. I will make it my Colorado Resolution No. 1: To kick all objectionable forces in the universe in the shins.

    I like you more than tea and even F. Scott Fitzgerald. *huggle*

  3. Gracie-lou. *hugs* You are so special and treasured by me…I hate that there are people and things to make you feel that way. I’m with Rissa that I want to kick them all in the shins. With steel toes.

    I love you tons. Always. And don’t ever change, because I love you just the way you are. *huggles*

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