Something has to change. I can’t go on living like this–this feeling of being in a slough and ever being slowly pulled further down in it. I know exactly what is causing it and I don’t know what to do.
The way people act and respond…the things people say…the double-sidedness…the hurt.
I feel things so deeply, and I wonder half the time if I feel things too deeply. I care so much about the people I love–I am fiercely loyal. When someone breaks the trust that I don’t easily give in the first place…it takes another little piece of who I am with it. I feel like I never regain those little pieces.
I feel like clamming up and erecting walls of concrete to try to keep the pain and hurt out. I feel like I could easily become a superficial “cold” person with only a facade of being warm and loving.
I want to love . . . I want to be loved for who I am.